‘I had no love for myself … now I have peace’: former Ireland rugby player Ryan Caldwell’s journey back from the edge

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The retired second-row on his recovery from addiction, depression and incarceration to find a new life as a meditation teacher “Carefree,” says Ryan Caldwell when I ask him what word is tattooed across his fingers. He looks up from his hands on a rainy morning in Belfast. The former Ireland international, who played the role of enforcer for Ulster, Bath and Exeter, then laughs softly in acknowledgment of that incong…

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